Pacing the Cage

 by  Sam Brasch, staff writer

Is there any worth in a hall-mate who aims to scare the shit out of you?

Rarely has stepping out of a dorm room and into a well-lit, pastel-tone hallway been approached with such reluctance and terror. “I lock my doors because I am afraid he will come into my room with that gorilla mask on,” reports a freshman resident of Slocum’s 3-North hall. In fear of a pointed surprise attack, the victim wishes to remain unnamed. “Sometimes I run through the hall hoping he won’t see me. Sometimes I sit inside with the door locked, listening.”

Sophomore Bridger Langfur, the self-proclaimed “master of disaster,” peering out from behind his gorilla mask, does nothing to deny his role in creating an atmosphere of terror in 3-North. He willingly admits that frightening near-strangers is, for him, “a rush. You don’t know quite how they’re going to react.” 

That being said, Langfur believes the freshmen cowering in their rooms benefit from repeated instances of his jumping out from behind the bathroom door. “It all goes back to Star Wars, man,” he explains. “Fear, rage, humiliation—that’s the Dark Side. Shame especially leads you to the Dark Side; and by scaring people, they become better adapted to recovering afterwards. I am desensitizing them to terror.”

So, behind the mask, is Langfur a super-hero or a super-villain? “Oh, I am out for my own good, no doubt,” he clarifies. Nonetheless, Langfur has gained recognition as an “Unidentified Ground Object,” or UGO, amongst his freshman hall-mates, and that alone may provide a sense of solidarity.  As Langfur’s hall-mate says, “We all know he’s trying to get us to form some sense of community in the hall, and we would, we really would, if he wasn’t so fucking scary.”


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