by Artie Niederhoffer, editor
On Friday at lunch hour, Kappa Sigma, now the campus’s only fraternity, set up speakers blasting top-forty hip-hop and a dunk tank outside Worner. Taking care to borrow a friend’s sweater with which to hide my white T-shirt lest I get approached as the tank’s next victim, I wandered over to ask the boys how they felt about their newfound solitude. From the start, their articulate spokesperson, Jeffrey Zager, was eager to set me straight about a few things. First, he took issue with my use of the word “frat” to describe their organization. Brothers and sisters: for the record, a frat sponsors debauchery and hosts ragers; a fraternity sponsors brotherhood and hosts charitable events, like this one turned out to be. That day, Kappa Sigma raised money for an organization that supports people with Down Syndrome in honor of a fifteen-year member of the fraternity who has the illness. Come to think of it, all the dunk booth victims had been men. I took a pamphlet and stood corrected.
Zager regrets that CC could not prove home to three “healthy fraternities” or any semblance of a Greek scene on campus, but he believes Sigma Chi received its just desserts. Perhaps Zager would like to talk to his bros about a short article on his Greek philosophy? Please, he told me. We prefer the term “brother.” I humbly took my leave.